that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
