We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Sorry about my life...
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
