So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
