i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
