Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
