its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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