my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
