Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
