Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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