I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
