tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
