i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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