I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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