it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
