You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Randomize
