Sry I called you an 8
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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