I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
