he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
