I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
