So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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