I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
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