I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
