Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
