i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
