O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
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