Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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