I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
wow bdsm is so cute
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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