Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
