dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
it was like eating out sand paper
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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