I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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