Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
