sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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