So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
