She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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