please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
