when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I just found a bag of teeth...
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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