Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
