My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
