like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
my liver is dry heaving
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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