Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
We are two peas in an std pod
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
