He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
