Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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