i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
