I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
