i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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