Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
