Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
