Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
