nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
