spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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